Feb 5, 2017

LIFE AFTER CANCER



Next week marks 8 months since my initial diagnosis of Breast Cancer and although it's not a major milestone or anything, I felt like I wanted to write about it because so much has happened in that time. Everything is just so different now! The first month was all about the operation, the second onwards was about chemo and basically weakening my body so much I could barely function, then came radiation which saw constant nausea every single day and then skin burns. Now I'm still going with the help of a few more herceptin injections and I'm about to start Tamoxifen (a daily oral tablet, which basically stops the action of estrogen. It stops it binding to cancer cells and fuelling it's growth, basically it's a great preventative to stop re-occurrence)

Now though, I don't feel ill, I don't feel like a cancer patient and I don't even look like one anymore! I have a heap of hair, which is amazing and so soft. To be honest I thought I would look a lot chicer with very short hair, I thought I'd look like Natalie Portman or Winona Ryder when they had their pixie crops (yes I know I have a very romanticised version of myself in my head lol) but I basically just look like a ten year old boy with a very bad, very fluffy haircut, which is disappointing. My oncologist told me to gel it back and wear garish make-up but I'm not too keen on that idea either haha.
And I am back to shaving my legs every two days too.

But I have finally got to a point where, I am me again, a very, very different me granted but then everyone changes no matter what, the years go by and life's experiences, shapes and moulds you. 

I cry a lot more these days, I cry with happiness at little things (and I honestly never understood why people would do that before), if something is sad, I cry, I cry at anything and I actually really enjoy it haha. I get tired a lot easier than I used to and I'm pretty sure I still need to detox a truck load of chemicals from my body that built up during that time but I am finally starting to believe it. I am healthy.

Luckily I am not the type of person to worry too much about stuff, I know that some people get over cancer and always panic about it coming back. I think there will always be a small part of anyone that will worry about that but I am really focusing on the health I have right now. I am so thankful to have come out the other side and I will not lt even the worry of cancer take any more from me than it already has. I mean, anyone could get cancer at anytime, anything can happen but worrying about something, just means you're stealing the joy of today. There's definitely an inspirational quote in there somewhere but I can't remember it word for word but you get my drift :)

All I want now, is to enjoy everyday, spend time with people I love and travel, oh how I want to travel...

Basically when I was in that awful limbo period of not knowing whether I could die from this disease or if I would be alright, my first thought was how I didn't want to miss out on the kids lives, they needed me. And of course all the other people I loved but one thing that I kept constantly thinking was 'but I want to do this I want to go here...'
And now I'm going to do all those things or at the very least LIVE my life to the fullest.

I'm well enough to start working again and at the moment I've been concentrating really hard on my artwork and growing that business, as well as our clothing company.

So this year I have made a huge effort to go to the beach more as it's such a great way to make memories with your family, whilst getting the grounding and healing from nature that is so good for your soul and this weekend we decided to get away to Noosa to spend some time with the kids, relax a little and make some memories.

We stayed in a beautiful apartment at Skippers Cove, Noosaville.

We all went kayaking, paddle boarding, swimming in the pool and playing on the beach and it was basically just magical. On Saturday morning, Mailda and I got up to watch the sunrise (the boys were too tired and wanted to stay in bed)  but watching he sun come up over the water on a brand new day is basically my idea of heaven, I'm a massive morning person. Matilda and I watched all the pretty colours come alive, the flock of birds fishing for their breakfast and it was so quiet and peaceful, it's moments like that I want more and more of.

The kayaking and paddle boarding was so much fun, it was great to see the kids pushing themselves out of their comfort zone and experiencing new things and to all be doing something together. Craig bought Oscar a fishing rod and they stood and fished for a while on both days, there were heaps of people on the beach fishing and we saw a squid and a tonne of massive sting rays as well as lots of little fish and crabs and things, Oscar was fascinated by it all!


The apartment itself was very big, it had two bedrooms and a little loft, it had waterfront views and was only a few steps from the beach, a large kitchen, ducted aircon and the staff there made everything so easy for us. The kayaks were free to rent and were thee on the beach ready to go for all the guests. I highly recommend it if you fancy a very reasonable weekend getaway, (and tell them Hayley sent you, if you do book it :))
 Oscar and Matilda have already asked me if we can move there haha.


I have attached a whole heap of the Noosa pics at the bottom of the post but I couldn't go past the fact that yesterday (4th Feb) It was world cancer day and I wrote a little something about that too....

*

Before I had cancer myself, I had never really had any experience with it, luckily none of my family or close friends had been through it. It was more relatives of friends that I'd heard about, that kind of thing. So I guess I had no idea how horrible the disease actually is, how many lives it claims and how many lives it ruins in it's path.

Since going through the experience myself I have met so many people that have been touched by cancer, people that have since died as a result of it and people that continue to fight massive battles everyday.

There are no words to say that can make it better, there are no words I can say to save the people I wish I could save but I just hope that one day soon, something is done to help cure this bastard, for all cancers, for all people, because dying from cancer is probably one of the worst ways you can imagine going, for the person themselves and for their loved ones to witness.

It can take everything from you, the treatment alone is deadly and going through my own battle has at least made me so much more aware of how much still needs to be done, how much awareness can help save someone and how a kind gesture to someone in need can be life changing for them.

I'm saying an extra prayer for those fighting tonight, and I have left the links to some amazing charities at the bottom of the post. Charities that directly made a difference to me when I was at my lowest times.










Cancer charities


Also my friend Lisa is currently facing a particularly vicious form of cancer, she was told she was terminal a while ago and has been an absolute warrior, but right now she needs our love and prayers more than ever. She has a brilliantly witty and heartfelt blog by the name of Terminally Fabulous
Please check it out if you get a chance :)
Share:

No comments

Post a Comment

© HAYLEY SARAH | All rights reserved.
Blog Design Handcrafted by pipdig