Sep 16, 2016

Chemo - The gift that keeps on giving :-/



 Ok chemo, we all know that you take away hair, you make us sick, you make us tired, you make our mouth dry up, our bones ache so that we feel 100 years old, but there's just so much more to you isn't there?!

Seriously, chemotherapy is just the gift that keeps on giving! It never stops. This month was rough, I know I've already bitched to you guys about it already so I won't bore you with how tired I was, again. But now, almost 3 weeks later when you think you've almost recovered from it and you're just about ready to take the punch from the next one... You look down at your fingers, as they ache and feel excruciating pain every time you touch anything, and see that all your nail beds have turned brown and people tell you "Oh yes, your fingernails might fall off". Uhhh what? Seriously, what the actual F**K.

Nothing makes me cringe more than the thought of a nail falling off, it gives me goosebumps, it makes me dry heave. It makes me want to bandage up my hands so I never have to feel or witness that. Oh dear God. I thought this weeks low point was when my eyelashes started getting gappy. I was actually hoping my eyelashes wouldn't fall out. They're still mostly there, it's not that bad but there are quite a few significant gaps where my once thick black long lashes sat, which to be honest has pissed me off.

I thought the other low point was when I had to shave my head again because 50% of my hair had grown back. It was probably just over a centimetre long. Which at first I thought was awesome I had hair growing back to be begin with, until I realised it was just half of it, which looked damn creepy and the fact that THAT HAIR WAS GREY what the hellllllllllllllllll. Seriously this better not happen when it grows back properly. Please please please, if you're going to change colour, change to red or blonde or green, or whatever the hell you want, I don't want to be grey at 29!!!!

So now with a face full of acne (reducing my steroids didn't work so going through the absolute torture of having chemo with hardly any steroids last time to spare me the acne, didn't even work. This time I'll be marching in there, begging them to triple my bloody steroids. Please just give them all to me) gappy eyelashes, patchy, fluffy, grey hair that makes me look like a creepy Grandma if I don't shave it every 3-4 days, I am going to put on a nice outfit, paint the offending nails and whack a shit load of make-up on as Craig gets back from Wales tonight and I want to try and resemble some form of female attractiveness :-/

Wish me luck!!

Love Hayley X



 

 


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