Aug 14, 2016

JUST ME




You may have noticed the name and layout of this blog is very different today! I have previously struggled with trying to pinpoint or solely focus on what 'I do'.

It's like how am I meant to sum myself up in just a few words to the whole world? I am a Mum but I'm also an artist, I'm an editor but I'm also a freelance photographer. Oh and add breast cancer fighter/survivor to that list too now.

Finding a blog name was even harder for. I have my website hayleywalkerart.com which is the 'businessy' side of things, so this was always just a place for me to ramble on about the hundreds of things I love or do. From painting, drawing, fashion, photography, outfits, travel. All that really personal stuff, which is why this place, this little blog has always been my favourite platform (instagram is a very close second). But I love it here, I can write down all my thoughts, tailor it with the billions of photos I take on a daily basis and if it isn't the most professional of stuff, you guys don't seem to care.
I wanted to change the blog to something that was more of a whole, I didn't want it to be confined by descriptive words before, Art-Love-Fashion just didn't seem to make sense anymore when most of my posts these days are about my cancer journey. I didn't want to make a blog specifically for that or that to become 'what I am' like I've said before, I plan to be rid of this whole cancer malarkey ASAP. My first post about it was called 'I temporarily have cancer' because it's temporary.

So I decided to just call the blog Hayley Sarah. It's my name after all. It doesn't confine me to just one or two things, it's personal and it's just me.

Lately my blog has been more personal than ever, something that has got me to focus when I'm having a really bad day. Whether that's writing down all the nasty stuff that's happened on a day where the chemo has knocked me for six, or whether it's reading through the comments from you guys and seeing how many people the posts about breast cancer are reaching, when I'm so wide awake on steroids I can't sleep....It just helps.

A problem shared is a problem halved and I instantly feel so much better when I've written about all this shit. I also really feel like it could be helping people.

For example, before I started my treatment (the treatment that will ultimately cure me of cancer) I was SO scared of all the side effects and possibilities that I nearly didn't do it altogether. Even when I had promised to do it, I was counting down the seconds, dreading the whole thing so much that I honestly nearly rang and cancelled.

I know everyone is different, especially when it comes to cancer and even more so when it comes to treatment but if someone is about to chicken out of doing chemo and I randomly pop up on google and give someone strength to go through with it, I'll be happy. I'll be happy if someone checks their breasts because of me, I'll be happy if someone quits a job they hate, because of me. I'll be happy if someone books a mammogram because of me.

There's no point going through a shit situation if you can't learn from it, if you can't help other people because of it.

I've said from the beginning that I thought this cancer was a wake up call for me and although there's a lot of crappy days, my life is moving in a direction that I feel is really right.

I hope you like the new look, the new name etc. and if you've been following my story, then Thank you so much. Every blog like, share, even click is noticed and appreciated.

Love Hayley xxxx
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