Aug 26, 2016

Best Friends and Battle Scars



When you're going through chemo and you've lost your hair, lost your breast and suffer with steroid related acne most of the time, as well as steroid related weight gain, it's easy to feel ugly and feel like you've lost your identity and everything that makes you feel like a woman.

I have felt physically great the last two weeks, which is amazing. But every time I've walked past a mirror, I've felt like crying. I know it shoudn't matter and I know what is really important, I'd much rather feel good than look good. But sometimes it's a shock seeing myself this way. and it's a hard adjustment. Sometimes I don't want to go out in public, sometimes it feels like a huge effort to put on two layers of foundation and makeup, an uncomfortable wig and hat, a fake boob and high necked top and pretend you feel good about yourself.

Other days you say screw it and wear a fucking ball gown and rip off your wig and prosthesis for a photo shoot in the woods.

I organised the photo shoot as my best friend was coming down from Cairns for the weekend and I really wanted to do something special, and to capture the memories.

Thank you so much to THE BABUSHKA BALLERINA for dressing us. You were absolutely incredible and we truly felt like princesses for the day. And sometimes you need to feel like a princess and it makes up for those days you felt awful.

I originally wore a wig for these photos but I took it off towards the end and felt so much happier. I didn't wear a prosthesis because there was nowhere to put it in this dress. I decided that I didn't care and that I was proud of my scars. You should never be ashamed of your scars, they just prove you were stronger than what tried to hurt you.

Thank you also to THE BRISBANE GIRL for capturing these photos and being the amazing creative Goddess that you are.






















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2 comments

  1. Babe!! You look fricken amazing! Good on you for doing this shoot! I was thinking of doing the same, but I'm still fighting the confidence battle. Proud of you and come this new year we will celebrate our end of chemo shit!!! ��

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    1. yes! can't bloody wait :) i was really self conscious about my scar especially but I can't live my life that way and realised the best thing to do was to embrace it xx

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